Union Buildings

Union Buildings

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Literary Find.

               The Editorial staff of  "Newsletter", browsing through the departmental archives, recently came across a hitherto unpublished fragment  which indicates that at some time in his career, Lewis Carroll was among those who failed to appreciate the advantages of a long spell at Head Office.   The verses run as follows:

The diplomats were all abroad,
               Working with all their might.
At Meintjies Kop, the staff at home
               Were nipping belts in tight,
And wondering how they could survive,
               With not a move in sight.

The Chief Clerk and the Secretary
               Surveyed the scene first-hand.
They wept like anything to see
               This sad Pretoria band.
“If this could only all be changed, “
               They said, "it would be grand”.

“If all my clerks in Section Staff
               Worked at it half a year,
Do you suppose,” the Chief Clerk said,
               "That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it", said the Secretary,
               And shed a bitter tear.

"0, Staff Clerk, come and talk with me,"
               The Chief Clerk did beseech,
"And see if you can make a plan
               To change the post of each,
Especially those too far away,
               And get them back in reach".

"The time has come”, the Chief Clerk said,
               “To talk of things like Rome;
Of Ottawa and Washington,
               Of Rio and Stockholm;
Of who shall go from here to there
               And who shall now come home”.

"But wait a bit!” cried those abroad,
               "Before you have your chat.
We simply cannot leave behind
               Allowances so fat".
"No hurry.'" said the Secretary,
               "We're all aware of that".
  “ 
“The List of names," the Chief Clerk said,
               "Is what we need the most.
Paper and typewriter besides,
               Red tape, of pins a host.
Department  if you're ready now,

 “But not post us!” again they cried,
               Turning a little blue.
“After such glamour, that would be
               A dismal thing to do!”
“The time is ripe the Chief Clerk said
               “To change your point of view.”

To stay where it is nice”.
The Secretary said nothing but
               “Those pleadings cut no ice.
I hope Chief' Clerk, you’ll not be dumb,
               And heed outside advice.”

“It seems a shame,” the Chief Clerk said,
               “To play them such a trick,
After they’ve had such lovely posts
               In which they’d hoped to stick”.
The Secretary said nothing but:
               “Get on and post them quick !”

“I weep for you,” the Chief Clerk said,
               “I deeply sympathise.
Of all the posts you might have got,
               Leopoldville’s the prize” -
(Holding the wad of posting slips
               Before his streaming eyes).

“O Chief Clerk ,” said the Secretary,
               “We’ve had a pleasant run.
Shall we just see who else to send?”
               But answer came there none.
And this was scarcely odd, because
               They’d posted every one!


(John Mills, John Selfe, Derek De Villiers - 1955?)



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