Junketing on a junk

Asian regional planning conference - Singapore, March 1994

The TEC Sub-council on Foreign Affairs, Heads of Mission and officials from Head Office before the Junket on a Junk. Back Row: Roel Goris (Bangkok), Michael Farr (Hong Kong), Johan Viljoen (Taipei), Tom Wheeler (HD OW) , Deon Volschenk (Islamabad), Aziz Pahad (Sub-council, now Deputy Minister), Les Labuschagne (Beijing), Henri Raubenheimer (Kuala Lumpur), Rafique Gangat (Karachi), Pierre Dietrichsen (DIRG). Front Row: Barry MooIman (New Delhi), Dawie du Plessis (Singapore), Osman Ganie (Sub-council),Mandla Mamela (Managing Secretary of the Sub-council), Alex van Zyl (Seoul), Naude Steyn (Canberra), Godfrey Hetisani (Sub-council), Marietjie du Plessis (Minute Secretary of the Sub-council), Princess Stella Sicgau (Sub-council, now Minister of Public Enterprises and the time of writing Acting Minister of Foreign Affairs), PJ Botha (Singapore), Errol de Montille (DASO), Christo Prins (Tokyo), Leon Wessels (Sub-council, now Vice Chair of the Constituent Assembly).Absent: Mr Albert van Niekerk (OADO) who was taken ill in Singapore and Mr John Barratt(Sub-council) who could not undertake the visit).

Tom Wheeler

News from the dark side. 

Stung by charges of junketing by South Africa's traditional leadership, the Department's new-look political mentors, the Sub-council on Foreign Affairs, decided there was nothing to be lost by accepting PJ Botha's invitation to sail round Singapore harbour on a junk.

After all it was no different to what they had had to put up with since they first encountered the Foreign Affairs hordes in December.

The political waters remained calm, but as the tropical ones became choppy several wondered whether they did not have something to lose after all.

It was by some stroke of genius that a karaoke had been laid on and soon hi thereto undiscovered talent among members of the Sub-council and heads of mission began to corne to the fore.

The competition between members of the Sub-council for one of the Departmental, of course was fierce. Leon Wessels proved to be a master of the political patter song with punch lines on Eric Louw, Diefenbaker, Carpio and other historic figures (which brought tears to the eyes of the Departmental geriatrics).

The Department's own royalty, the Princess Stella, was not to be outdone and gave stirring renditions of the Xhosa click song and several familiar Makeba melodies. She must have amended the words a little, because at one stage she threatened to send a tape of one of them to Chief Kolonyama, the Sub-council's chief tormentor.

Nothing would induce her and Mandla Memela, the managing secretary, to toyi toyi in accompaniment of their music.

The stars of the evening proved to be Roel Goris (Bangkok) and PJ (our host) ably supported by Rae Labuschagne (Beijing) with their renditions of sentimental ballads, but Aziz Pahad did splendidly with a suitably apt issued version of "Born Free". Ossie Ganie celebrated the return of the rains to Natal with  "Raindrops are falling on my head".

But there was stunned silence when Leon Wessels suggested in song that there was nothing that could frighten mice like us - except the DG, Jan Botha and hold it, a new government! The best was yet to come. As the junk pulled back towards the quay, a self-selected glee clubs consisting of Godfrey Hetisani (playing an imaginary piano, as even with the wizardry of Singapore, PJ was not able to conjure up a real one for him, Chris Streeter, Aziz Pahad, Stella, Pierre Dietrichsen, Rae, PJ, Roel, Ossie Ganie, Torn Wheeler and one or two more set about nation-building in earnest with ringing renditions of Sarie Marais, Suikerbossie (in spite of its gender unacceptability), Alabama and most poignant of all, Marching to Pretoria.

When some of the politicos learnt that their exploits were to be recorded for posterity in the Courier here were wails of anguish as they realised that perhaps after all they could not be marching to Pretoria, if all this levity were to become known too soon. After five regional planning meetings heavy with all the wisdom that the upper echelons of Foreign Affairs could dazzle them with, this was what the Sub-council needed to make them accept that there will be life after the TEC, after all.