Bratislava real estate - a gem of English usage

Stumbled on by Theunis du Toit, Bratislava

Meintjeskop Courier, Volume III/1994

One of the major obstacles confronting all Embassies, foreign companies and individuals corning to Bratislava, is finding four walls with doors, windows and a roof on in the right proportion to use either as an office or as a place to live. However, the severe shortage of proper buildings is not the only thing a foreigner has to contend with, but very often also the language barrier, which I am sure this following gem of English language usage will demonstrate:

"Bratislava, June I, (Slovakia) - Slovak Culture Minister Lubornir Roman hosted on Wednesday US Ambassador to Slovakia Theodor E Russel.

During the discussion politicians agreed the conditions of the contract letting, completed with the option for the pre-emtion of the building at the Hoviezdoslav square, neighbouring with the residence of the American Ambassador, of which the main user is the Cultural Heritage Reservation Institute in Bratislava.

Theodor E Russel noted, that the new buildings are indispensable for the successful activity of the representation.

After the agreement, the American Cultural Center will be arranged on the ground - floor of the building."

P.S. It is believed that the American Embassy will introduce courses in Slovak for its diplomats as soon as they can find out what really happened to their building.

BRILJANTE VERTALING

Ek wil graag die volgende opdra aan mnr J B Shearar, en sommer aan almal in die MuItilaterale Tak. Gemeet aan die hierdie vertaling wil dit tog voorkom as of daar baie is om voor dankbaar te wees!

Pieter Pretorius

Meintjeskop Courier, Volume III.1994

A soak on a wildput ('n week op 'n wildsplaas)   

Last soak, 1, my heavy and my cleanfather went on a yacht in the Bushveld on their wildput. The whether were nice.

One evening we went out to look for mainly Jumprabbits, Ironpigs, Mousedogs and Seacows. My heavy took the double-walk hailgun and my cleanfather took his hand-badge in case we came down on any Lazy-snakes. We each took enough patterns to keep the whole night.

Firstly we walked down to the Waterorange and Teambacon countries. I saw an organisation in a tree nearby and immediately smelt fuse. I look nearlier and saw to my cremation a Lazyhorse eating  Brickbuck in the aim of a tree. We circumcised the tree very carefully and kept on towards our goal.

As we came there, we saw millions of Ironpigs in the Waterorange country. Immediately my heavy took grain with his hailgun and burnt loose. As the first lap slapped, the bat of the hailgun hit my heavy on his key leg which snapped like a wig. The walk of the hailgun jumped into the light, but  luckily the next lap went right.                            

Six Ironpigs lied bones in the light and the rest took the hare road. Fortunately we found a herbwagon standing in the country on which we could pile the corpses. We were much too ring to bear them. On the way back my cleanfather tripped over a tree carrot and sprained his judge single.

The next day I took my winddumpie to look for tar-and-languages. I was very lucky to see two moun- ain-peal-roads and a whole swarm of jump-bucks in the field.

It was a delightful soak.

(Outeur onbekend)