Bratislava real estate - a gem of English usage

Stumbled on by Theunis du Toit, Bratislava

Meintjeskop Courier, Volume III/1994

One of the major obstacles confronting all Embassies, foreign companies and individuals corning to Bratislava, is finding four walls with doors, windows and a roof on in the right proportion to use either as an office or as a place to live. However, the severe shortage of proper buildings is not the only thing a foreigner has to contend with, but very often also the language barrier, which I am sure this following gem of English language usage will demonstrate:

"Bratislava, June I, (Slovakia) - Slovak Culture Minister Lubornir Roman hosted on Wednesday US Ambassador to Slovakia Theodor E Russel.

During the discussion politicians agreed the conditions of the contract letting, completed with the option for the pre-emtion of the building at the Hoviezdoslav square, neighbouring with the residence of the American Ambassador, of which the main user is the Cultural Heritage Reservation Institute in Bratislava.

Theodor E Russel noted, that the new buildings are indispensable for the successful activity of the representation.

After the agreement, the American Cultural Center will be arranged on the ground - floor of the building."

P.S. It is believed that the American Embassy will introduce courses in Slovak for its diplomats as soon as they can find out what really happened to their building.

BRILJANTE VERTALING

Ek wil graag die volgende opdra aan mnr J B Shearar, en sommer aan almal in die MuItilaterale Tak. Gemeet aan die hierdie vertaling wil dit tog voorkom as of daar baie is om voor dankbaar te wees!

Pieter Pretorius

Meintjeskop Courier, Volume III.1994

A soak on a wildput ('n week op 'n wildsplaas)   

Last soak, 1, my heavy and my cleanfather went on a yacht in the Bushveld on their wildput. The whether were nice.

One evening we went out to look for mainly Jumprabbits, Ironpigs, Mousedogs and Seacows. My heavy took the double-walk hailgun and my cleanfather took his hand-badge in case we came down on any Lazy-snakes. We each took enough patterns to keep the whole night.

Firstly we walked down to the Waterorange and Teambacon countries. I saw an organisation in a tree nearby and immediately smelt fuse. I look nearlier and saw to my cremation a Lazyhorse eating  Brickbuck in the aim of a tree. We circumcised the tree very carefully and kept on towards our goal.

As we came there, we saw millions of Ironpigs in the Waterorange country. Immediately my heavy took grain with his hailgun and burnt loose. As the first lap slapped, the bat of the hailgun hit my heavy on his key leg which snapped like a wig. The walk of the hailgun jumped into the light, but  luckily the next lap went right.                            

Six Ironpigs lied bones in the light and the rest took the hare road. Fortunately we found a herbwagon standing in the country on which we could pile the corpses. We were much too ring to bear them. On the way back my cleanfather tripped over a tree carrot and sprained his judge single.

The next day I took my winddumpie to look for tar-and-languages. I was very lucky to see two moun- ain-peal-roads and a whole swarm of jump-bucks in the field.

It was a delightful soak.

(Outeur onbekend) 

Letter to an ambassador ....

Tom Wheeler, Ankara, Turkey

Meintjeskop Ditaba No II/1997

Some years ago a newly appointed Ambassador asked me what the desk expected of him.

I wrote him a letter which has since served as the basis of a brief I have given to several Heads of Mission courses at the Foreign Service Institute. The text below has been revised, brought up to date and made more generally relevant. It may be of interest to readers of Ditaba.

Dear ... 

Congratulations on the confirmation of your appointment as Ambassador.

I and the other members of the Department at Head Office look forward to working with you once you take up your position.

I have given some thought to your question as to what the Department expects of you as an Ambassador.

Implicitly, and more recently explicitly, the top management of the Department regard you as the "captain of your ship”.

This has a variety of implications. You are given responsibility for all the activities of your mission and its staff - for the political line function, consular assistance and financial, administrative and personnel management aspects. At the same time your freedom of action is circumscribed by the Department's administrative, consular and financial regulations and legislation like the Public Service Act and the Audit and Exchequer Acts.

As regards your political functions, these can be  divided into representational, information-gathering, political interaction, marketing South African government policy to the host government and people, multilateral diplomacy, and promoting trade, investment and tourism. It is in these areas where it is more difficult for the Department to be prescriptive about how you should perform your task as Ambassador but guidelines are given wherever possible.

How you approach your task will be influenced by your own style, interests and objectives.

The main external influences will be the nature and needs of Government and Departmental policy at any given time and the nature of the relationship between the two countries. For success in this respect, I would urge you to maintain a positive and open relationship with the desk and the top management of the Department. It will be my intention to maintain the same type of relationship and to be supportive of you and your activities within the constraints of the rather different Head Office perspective on relations with any state or government to that which exists at a mission.

Let me comment on each of the aspects I have mentioned above.

Representational

As the South .African Ambassador you represent the President, the Government and the people of South Africa in the country of your accreditation, This office gives you a particular status and entree in that country. It brings with it a range of representational tasks which are frequently more ceremonial than substantial. Nevertheless as the first citizen of South Africa in that country, the way you act will be under close scrutiny and will influence the way the Government and the people of your host country view South Africa and South Africans. 

You will also spend much time in the company of your fellow Heads of Mission accredited to your host country. This provides opportunities to exchange views on your host country, but also on each other's country. Useful contacts and friendships can be built up in this way.

The social aspects of your task can be taxing, but they facilitate contact with a broad spectrum of influential citizens of your host country who can be of importance to you in performing your official duties.

It is desirable, but not necessary, for you and your wife to accept all invitations of a representational nature, or even invitations to speak. In conjunction with your senior staff you may decide to delegate a staff member to represent you on certain occasions.

Careful consideration should be given to the importance of the event and the image that will be projected by your attendance / non-attendance.

Information-gathering

The Department is heavily dependent  on the Embassy as a source of reliable information on a broad spectrum, its foreign policy and its policy and objectives as regards South Africa.

The Embassy has a good team of officials who should be encouraged to develop their contacts and to report and comment thoughtfully and rationally on the information they gather. While newspapers are a good source of leads, the mere rewriting of the contents of articles is not the best use of time.

Rather fax only the most relevant articles and have the staff analyse more deeply by judicious contact with government officials, the media and all facets of civil society.

It would encourage you to ensure that your policy advice and recommendations to Head Office are consistent and well-thought through. Knee-jerk reaction to pronouncements  and events or conflicting personal point  of views of different staff members can be embarrassing and cause criticism of the Embassy.

When you call on senior political leaders, the Foreign Ministry and senior business people or other significant leaders, I would encourage you to take a member of your staff as a “note taker” to prepare a record, and if appropriate, a report to Head Office on your conversation. I would prefer you rather not to report orally as there is then no proper record and misunderstandings can arise. In this connection I would urge you to send your reports for action to the desks concerned (bilateral or multilateral or both) and only for information, where necessary, to the Director General and the political leadership. This will ensure speedy attention being given to your reports while more senior officials are not always immediately available.

Political Interaction with the Host Government

This aspect is closely related to what has gone before. Much of what I have said already is equally applicable here. The difference is perhaps in the degree of assertiveness. This aspect of your task is interactive in the sense that you need to maintain contact with Head Office and decide jointly on each step. Head Office will need reports from your mission to assist in the process of deciding how to proceed. Head Office, of course, looks at a wider picture, involving domestic considerations and our relations with other countries or our interests in multilateral and other issues.

You will on occasion be required to convey to the head of the Government messages which will not be well received or you will have to attempt to convince him to act or not to act in particular ways.

You may not wish to be placed in a position which may seem likely to impact negatively on your relationship with that government, but this will on certain occasions be unavoidable. I would advise that your approach be open, honest and straight forward, avoiding deviousness.

Most important is our approach that the Government does not have a hidden agenda. This will require all the sensitivity, political skill and ability to influence which you have at your disposal and have honed during your career. You will need to get to know the personalities and natures of the leaders you will be dealing with and to judge how best to achieve your objectives with them.

Marketing South African Government Policies

As the public face of the South African Government in your country of accreditation you will on occasion be requested to speak at conferences or to gatherings interested in hearing an official South African point of view or to learn more about our country, its investment or trade potential or our recent political “miracle” .

You may also be invited to participate in TV or radio interviews, especially when high-profile or controversial news events involving South Africa are receiving media attention.

It will be you judgment call whether you accept the invitation and how you approach the interview. Bear in mind, however, that especially in TV the personal impression you leave is more lasting than the information you impart. As I remarked above, you may wish to delegate the responsibility for delivering a speech or giving an interview to a member of your staff. It is for you to decide in conjunction with your advisers (staff) on the most appropriate methods and tactics.

The Department has considerable resources to back you, in the form of information, publications, exhibition material, video and, of course, funding. You should feel free to ask for the support you need.

Multilateral Diplomacy

Multilateral diplomacy has assumed a much greater level of importance since our political transition and since the demise of the bipolar world.

I t is important that your mission have an officer or a section responsible for multilateral issues. These include our relations with the SADC and the discussions with UN, NAM, Commonwealth, OAU and your host government on global issues like disarmament, human rights, international economic affairs and the environment, to name but a few.

From time to time you or your staff will be requested to discuss such issues with the Foreign Ministry or technical departments of your host government and report on their reaction. It is not expected of you to have a deep and profound knowledge of the issues, but the Department will provide you with the necessary briefings and documentation. Electronic data bases on these organisations and Issues, are also accessible to missions.

Visitors

As a result of the political transition, South Africa has become a fashionable place for foreign leaders to visit and, reciprocally, many South African Cabinet Ministers and prominent figures will visit your host country, It will be your role to facilitate, or host as appropriate, these visits and to ensure that they achieve the maximum in terms of goodwill and lasting benefit for South Africa and our relations with your country of accreditation.

Your staff will be of invaluable assistance in arranging programmes and ensuring that proper logistical arrangements are in place. Your mission will often be judged by the success with which you handle visits.

Promoting Trade, Investment and Tourism

The role of the Ambassador as the representative of South Africa lnc in his host country is receiving ever greater emphasis.

Officials of the Departments of Foreign Affairs and Trade and Industry are working more closely together to promote South African exports, to encourage investment in South Africa and to look out for tendering opportunities for projects abroad for South African firms,

Your position as Ambassador gives you access at the highest levels of government, commerce and industry, higher than any other member of your staff can achieve. You can, by supporting him/her, help in achieving  successes in these critical areas.,

You can open doors for visiting South African businessmen. The local knowledge of personalities, legislation, culture, opportunities and business practices available in your mission can be invaluable to them in achieving success in their business negotiations.

You will also he in a good position to promote tourism to South Africa.This is a sector with great potential for our country's economic growth.

Management of your mission

You have been associated long enough with Foreign Affairs to know that sound interpersonal relations and good communications in all their facets are the stock-in-trade of our profession,

Those qualities are as important to the success of your leadership of the Embassy as it is in your activities outside.

I would urge you to use to best effect the talents of the diversity of staff members at your disposal. While there are dearly horses for courses in the work context, avoid surrounding yourself with favourites and relying on them to the exclusion of others. It is to the advantage of you as Ambassador and of your staff members that you develop a relationship in which you support their efforts and projects and they in turn provide support and back- up up to you. In this way you are made to "look good" and are a successful representative of your country. 

The officials on the staff in turn get job satisfaction in their particular areas of responsibility and feel that their loyalty and support is rewarded by your willingness to act in support of them and their objectives. Such a relationship of trust is a winner for all parties.

The staff of your mission is made up of representatives of several Departments - usually              Foreign Affairs, Trade and Industry, the South African Secret Service and possibly the SANDF, the SAPS, Armscor, Customs and Excise, Agriculture and Education have staff stationed in some missions.

While they are placed under your authority for purposes of co-ordination of foreign policy objectives, discipline and administration, they report directly to their own Departments. While this can be a difficult relationship and distinction to make, it is advantageous to all if open communications can be created between the Ambassador and their head of each section/departmental representation, as well as between officers at a lower level.

Your Embassy will also have locally recruited staff as they are the best attuned to local conditions and are useful if not indispensable III your communications in the local language and in translating from the language.

You would be well-advised to promote personal good relations with these valuable members or the staff many of whom spend a lifetime in the service of South Africa.

The Department places much emphasis on planning. Without feeling obliged to make your own ideas subservient to what has gone before, you will probably find much wisdom in what has already been placed on the table. 

An amalgam of your fresh ideas and initiatives and those already tested may be a winning formula for you.

The success of your Ambassadorship depends on many things, several of which I have referred to above. One of the key factors for success is the perceptions in Pretoria and Cape Town of how you are running your Embassy. 

If these rather random thoughts and suggestions on what the Department expects from you as the Ambassador in .... are useful to you in stimulating your thinking and preparing yourself for assuming that role, I will be well satisfied.

With very good wishes for your success.

Yours sincerely, ….

Nearly killed by a dead man ...

                

(More reflections of an ill-spent life)  Mile Mallone
Meintjeskop Courier,  Volume 4, August 1992

                                                                                                                               

It was a strange, almost dreamlike feeling to climb again the well- remembered wooden stile quite unchanged by the passing of some fifty years and to stroll in the autumn sunshine along the footpath known as "Butterfly Walk" which stretches along the brow of a low hill overlooking a peaceful valley in South-Eastern England.

"How could you possibly know that the distance to the crossroads as the crow (or the bullet) flies was precisely the figure you mention?", you will probably ask. The answer is simple enough. In the Year of Grace 1940 the shallow circular depression I was now gazing at was a five-foot deep Observation Post ringed around by sandbags and equipped with a plastic-covered wooden range-table indicating the exact distances to all prominent landmarks within about one thousand yards. 

Of these the crossroads were the most important, for it was there that we expected the invading German columns to slow down or possibly halt for a few minutes while consulting their maps, thus providing us with an easy target. (All  signposts had, of course, been removed in preparation for the expected invasion).

That, at least was the general idea but how much damage we members of the Local Defence Volunteers  (later renamed on Churchill’s insistence, the Home Guard – could be inflicted with the old World War I 30’06’s with which we were equipped is a moot point, especially as we were issued with only five rounds of ammunition each! 

The British Army had left much of its equipment at Dunkirk a few weeks previously and we considered ourselves to have even five lease-lend cartridges. Some other LDV units, it was rumoured, were equipped with nothing more than antiquated and some medieval pikes requisitioned from the local museum. What we were supposed to do when we had expended our precious ammunition – a process which would have taken hardly a minute in action – was a point that was never clarified by the elderly retired Army Colonel appointed as our commander.

I can still remember the ending of the pep-talk he gave to the old men and the excited teenagers who filled the ranks of what became known as” Dad’s Army”.

“And finally, men”, I recall him saying at the end of the peroration, “when the German paratroopers start dropping out of the sky about your ears, remember two things – aim low and above all keep your communications open” I also recall one elderly and Rabelaisian veteran of the 1914-18 who was remarking in a loud whisper to a friend of the same vintage "Gor lumme, chum, that's something we ain't going to 'ave no difficulty about". Fortunately the Colonel did not hear this somewhat irreverent observation. Even more fortunately the expected German invasion never took place!

If it had, Hitler would almost certainly have won the war. All he had to do was to get a few divisions supported by paratroops and gliders across the channel and that would have been that. The weary and under-equipped British Army could, I reckon, have held out for perhaps a month or six weeks, after which the survivors would have  heard all about the German victory parade through London over the loudspeakers in their prisoner of war camps, by courtesy of Reich Propaganda Minister, Dr Goebbels.

One afternoon in that gloriously hot summer of 1940 when we had a grandstand view of the Battle of Britain being fought overhead, I happened to be on duty in that selfsame sandbagged post ready to report telephonically to the local HQ a couple of kilometres away, if any German paratroops were seen coming down or anything else untoward took place. To the rear, behind the brow of the hill, I could hear the noise like ripping canvas that signified aerial machine guns firing and the roar of aircraft engines coming closer and closer. 

I recall standing up and looking round in excited anticipation of what was obviously coming my way and being rapidly brought to my senses (such as they were) by the whiplash sound of machine gun bullets passing just above my head, followed by loud cracking noises as they struck the tiled roof of one of the Halliloo farm outbuildings to my left and further down the slope.

I ducked down behind the sandbags again in double quick time just as an RAF Hurricane fighter aircraft,flying upside down with all its guns blazing, swept right over me about thirty metres up ( I could distinctly feel the slipstream) and descended in a graceful curve towards the hill on the other side of the valley. After what could only have been a few seconds, although they felt like minutes, the firing stopped abruptly, while the aircraft glided on.

At first I was certain that the crippled plane was going to crash straight into an old brick railway viaduct that still stands there, but it missed by the narrowest of margins and instead struck the ground on the open hillside. As I watched in fascinated horror, it changed in the twinkling of an eye into a huge ball of red and yellow flame that went rolling across the grass for at least a hundred and fifty metres, accompanied by the crackling of cartridges exploding in the appalling heat.

After a quarter of an hour or so the flames died down, changing into a dense pall of smoke and the sound of exploding ammunition gradually petered out.

I immediately reported telephoncally what had occurred and shortly thereafter watched the rescue vehicles driving across the hillside to where the unlucky plane had gone in. I was told later that they found the pilot's head, still in its flying helmet, under a hedge. Apart from that all that was left was part of the unfortunate man's charred leather jacket.

It was decided later that all the circumstances pointed to his having been killed at the controls during the course of the aerial dog-fight, the sound of which I had heard a few moments earlier, and then, dead in an inverted aircraft and with his thumb briefly frozen on the firing button, had flown over me to the fiery end I have described.

It has often occurred to me what an ironic twist of fate it would have been if I, having come all the way from Cape Town just in time to get caught up in the crazy European internecine war that commenced shortly thereafter, had personally stopped those bullets I heard cracking overhead, as I certainly would have done had the angle of descent of the Hurricane been a degree or two lower. 

To be shot by a dead man would be macabre for anyone, but for one of Irish descent to be killed by a dead Englishman would have been the ultimate  indignity. It would have taken me years to live it down!                                                                                                

Santiago de Chile - 8th international air and space exhibition 1994

         20 to 27 March 1994

By Len Brand, Santiago
Meintjieskop Courier Volume 111/1994

Once again it was my privilege to attend FIDAE, South America's premier aviation event This exhibition takes place every two years and is organized by the Chilean Air Force. Some 36 countries participated this year and the flight line was graced by several of the world's most advanced fighter aircraft. South Africa was represented by Arnnscor and Denel and the South African Air Force's Harvard Acrobatic Team.

There can be little doubt that this year's exhibition belonged to the Russians. Their contribution included a MIG 29 Fulcrum, a Sukhoi 30, resplendent in desert camouflage warpaint and a Sukhoi 27 two-seater. Futher down the flight line an Antonov 124, the world's largest transport aircraft, towered above the surrounding C130s and VC10s. Even the IIIushin version of the 747 parked right next to the Antonov, was dwarfed by the sheer bulk of the 124.

It was during airshow time, however, that the Russians showed their true mettle. The MIG 29 pilot, a stocky, balding guy answering to the name of Alexander (what else?) gave a breathtaking display of airshow flying. Never flying straight and level for more than a few seconds, he demonstrated the aircraft's outstanding maneuverability, power and speed to the full. His experience in airshow flying was evident from the way in which he managed to contain his routine within a relatively small box directly in front of the crowd. He never disappeared from sight.

The Sukhoi usually followed immediately afterwards. Also very maneuverable, its main attribute seemed to be its incredibly powerful engines. Its vertical manoeuvres, which included a beautifully executed tail slide, had to be seen to be believed. Its piece de resistance, however, was the so-called "Cobra-strike". Flying straight and level very slowly and at a very high angle of attack, the aircraft suddenly reared up to a vertical position before leaping forward violently in an almost lifelike imitation of a cobra striking. In doing so it actually moved forward quite a distance and did not merely fall back to a horizontal position.

                                                               

Mig 29 pilot Alexander (left) fraternizing with the members of the SAAF Harvard Aerobatic Team. SA Ambassador Len Brand features third from the right.

The South African Air Force Harvard Aerobatic Team endeared themselves to the crowd with their slow and graceful routine. Their ability to fly really close formation and still execute loops and wing overs without moving an inch, drew gasps and shouts of admiration from the crowd. The CO, Commandant Glen Warden, speaking impeccable Spanish, did a splendid job on the public address system. After their final display, the Chief of the Chilean Air Force, General of the Air Ramon Vega, was the first to rush up to congratulate them on their sterling performance. The next was Alexander, the MIG pilot, who after several bouts of vigorous handshaking, insisted on being photographed with the team. 

Before I was allowed to don flying gear, I was required to sign a form indemnifying the SAAF and the South African Government against any claims or responsibility in the event of any accident resulting in my death, injury or any other form of damage to myself. This took me back into the dim past when as a schoolboy, 1 used to cycle to Swartkops AFB, hoping to hitch a lift in a Dak or Harvard due to be flight tested. 

1 was of course also required to produce an indemnity form duly signed by one of my parents. This form was known amongst us schoolboys as one's "death certificate". Getting the form signed was relatively easy. The difficult part was acquiring the amount of two and sixpence (half a crown) which the SAAF demanded in order to affix the prescribed revenue stamp for that amount to one's "death certificate". 

Two and six was a lot of money for a schoolboy in those days. 1 was much relieved when Cmdt Warden informed me that the revenue stamp had been dispensed with. However, 1 still had to render my "death certificate". (I was never lucky enough to "draw" a Harvard during those school day outings. I did, however, have the good fortune to fly with the legendary Tinky Jones, testing inter alia a DC3 Ambulance aircraft).

After the exhibition was over, all six our beautiful Harvards were sold by public auction. They were snapped up by American buyers, three going to New York and three to Denver, Colorado. Might see them at Oshkosh one day - who knows. I had thought that my days for building and flying low wing fighter aircraft were definitely over.

However I catch myself from time to time these days studying the advertisements for the Midwest version of the T-6 in the aeromodelling magazines with more than casual interest! 

Rwanda ... in memory of those, who died in 1994

By Coen van Wyk, Kampala, Uganda

Meintjeskop Ditaba No 1/1998

Dedicated to those who died in the massacres of 1994, all the other massacres past and present in Rwanda and elsewhere in Africa.

Against the hill the breeze sang through the branches over the church. As the trees swayed, the people came to pray, for peace, for security. Today the breeze still sighs. The trees still sway. But the people no longer pray. They are silent, in the church under the shadows of the trees.

Scattered among the stone benches, they are quiet. Quiet except for the mute cry against the horror that struck in this house of worship. In the empty eyes of a child's skull sounds only the mute plea for help, asking: “Where were you, that night?" 

In the shattered skull, the quiet despair screams. From a crushed rib cage, the rusty knife still clenched in its last agony, the cry against the unspeakable horror rises, and echoes, silently, through the cluttered pews.

A floral dress still clothes the pelvis of a woman, speaking of the life, the joy, that should have been.

But the light, filtered through the swaying branches, plays indifferently over the bones of mothers and children, locked in a last eternal embrace. 

Over fathers, gunned down in a last futile attempt to protect, on arms raised in supplication, on the scattered bones of fists raised in defiance.

The smell of death still hangs in the air, and will hang in the wind for generations, reminding the survivors, the refugees returning from exile, that they are alive by accident, by fortune. Life has little meaning, here, where your family, your little wealth, your history, your future, was wiped away in one night of horror, of unspeakable and unimaginable bestiality, a holocaust visited on a people by themselves, their neighbours, their relatives. 

A holocaust by friend on friend, by shopkeeper on client, by teacher on student. The survivors are, also, dead, in their minds.

The silence has reigned here for four years now. Those villagers who survived walk by, mute, silent. They do not laugh, cannot laugh, with the weight of the silent church on the hill, of the shadows in their minds, their hearts.

How are these people to be made alive? Can the life, the vitality, the future, be reborn? Can those who 3till breathe, be brought to believe that they are part of the world where there is laughter, where parents play with children, where grandparents celebrate birthdays, where there is food shelter, happiness, music, dancing?

The silence in the church is in my mind. In yours, too. As long as the memory of that silent church remains, dark under the trees dark in the inside, so long will that death be part of me, of you. For Africa cannot live, while that death hangs in the air, like the stench of the death, four years ago. The many deaths, over the years. 

The future cannot come to us while that horror lives on in the minds of you and me, of the children of the villages against the hill, the valleys, the mountains and the lakes of Africa. While parents do not see the future in the face of that horror in the nights of our continent, the night will reign, there will be a future where there will not be a great difference between death and life.

It is silent there against the hill, in the shadows under the trees. It is quiet, there.